How Did You Meet Your Spouse?

We asked this question in the class Facebook group and got a variety of answers. There weren’t any “love at first sight” reports—in fact, a couple of the stories are just the opposite. More on that in a minute.

A lot of us got married way before going “online” meant anything, but Duane Brown, a very high tech guy, met his husband, Pasha, in a chat room in 2010. Pasha was Russian and Duane thought chatting with him would be a way to dust off his very dusty high school Russian, never imagining where that could lead. Duane had already had two long life chapters with partners who died—one after 27 years and the second after 14 years—but times had changed and Pasha was the first he could legally marry, in 2017.

Shirley Bauer Varney met both her husbands in the same place and both were named Bill! The first time, she was in a women’s bowling league at Colonial Lanes next to a men’s league. One of the bowlers  noticed her and asked around for information. They got married but unfortunately that one didn’t last. Then another bowler found out she was divorced and that led to a new marriage that did. Bill and Shirley continued to bowl in Chelsea, in a mixed league; he wasn’t taking any chances—she was too attractive! They were married for 17 years until his passing. These days Shirley lives in Clearwater, Florida, and she’s still bowling!   

When Barbara DeHart Eadie said she met her husband in an elevator at grad school in NY State, I just had to know who had the opening line and what it was. I mean, unless it’s at the Empire State Building, an elevator ride isn’t going to last long enough to say much. But he said the simplest, smartest thing, “I’m Tom Eadie, I don’t think I know you.” And then he did. They found out they grew up 20 miles apart back in Michigan (Livonia for him) and took it from there. They were married for 47 years.

Maybe you noticed someone interesting in high school walking down the hall or at the same activities as you but so was his girlfriend. So you married someone else you met at a “Y” dance. That was Sharon Ralph Gingras and that marriage didn’t last long. Fast forward a few years but not many. Don Gingras was friends with Sharon’s brother (and his best friend was Joan Hogan Fossum’s brother, John; small world). 

By a chance of timing, on a New Year’s Eve when both were single, Sharon and her son needed an airport pick-up. Her brother couldn’t do it, so Don did him a favor. And her. That was 52 years ago and, echoing some other class members speaking of their marriages, often their second ones: “That was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Sara Stubbins has her own girlfriend story, too. Her (ex) husband was dating the President of the sorority she was in but, as Sara described it, decided to drop the girlfriend after meeting her at a fraternity keg party. Sara is nothing if not memorable and it’s not a surprise that he scooped her up! 

As I mentioned, things didn’t move fast for everyone. After meeting another player in a Pokémon GO game room, Bob Cochrantalked to her for eight years before they met in person. It may have taken a while, but after 12 years, Bob can say it was worth waiting for; he echoed Sharon’s comment that marrying her was the “best thing that ever happened to me”.

No one else has a story like Stoy Dulgeroff’s. He feels the same way as Bob about marrying his wife, Nancy, but add 10 years to Bob’s 8 and you’ll get the 18 years that it took Stoy and Nancy even to have a date. At 15, he had a crush on her, but she was his Spanish student teacher at Pioneer. They went off and married other people, but in 1981, they were both single and ran into each other at the Red Fox in Ann Arbor. Nancy plopped down in his lap—now, there’s an opening gambit—and 44 years later they’re going strong.